Stefen Kayvon Ireland

Stefen Kayvon Irelands Birth Story

It’s amazing how time, circumstances and education has led me to where I was able to have this awesome experience.

Mid 2011 I started really feeling like it was approaching time to have another baby. James was not quite on board at summer time but said at the end of the year he felt would be more right. We found out we were pregnant in December of 2011. Let me give you a little back-story though. James and I do not have insurance and to have a baby in a hospital with no insurance under good circumstances I think can run you upwards of 10K so we decided to seek out other options before we moved forward. We found the San Antonio Birth Center and went in for a tour. The owner and main midwife there Alisa Voss was who we met. She was a referral from two dear friends of mine here in Texas.  On that tour we were standing in the “family room” of the center and I had an overwhelming feeling of emotion come over me. I literally held back tears standing there with James and this, at the time, stranger. I felt so good about this place and the thought of having our baby here. Over the course of the next 9 months I had my appointments, which I always looked forward to, honestly as much as any other social event I had. The women at the center are just wonderful and I enjoyed spending my time with them as we got to know one another. There are SO many differences with a midwife vs. a Dr. some that I really loved is that my appointments were an hour long and focused on the baby and me. It wasn’t an hour wait to be seen and then in and out w/ Dr w/ standard questions. Also throughout the pregnancy you are not getting a bunch of lady exams, they never even do that unless otherwise needed. Everything was MY choice, down to what procedures and tests that would be done throughout and after the birth of our baby. 

Throughout my pregnancy I continued to workout at the gym as regular and felt wonderful. I was there 4-5 times a week up until the last two months (a really intense private Zumba class for my birthday put my body over the edge with some things I was dealing with and I was advised to take it much easier) J So I continued to do walking and water aerobics as I felt. There were a couple of days were I felt nauseas but honestly this was the most amazing pregnancy as far as how I felt. I attribute that to the fact of exercise and the education and views nutritionally that I had started to implement this year. We found out we were having a boy and then began the fun process of talking about names. The only name James ever suggested outright to me was Lincoln. I of course offered him up a whole slew of names and we were able to narrow it down at the end to Sawyer, Skyler and Stefen. Dad was on board and 100% about Stefen before me, although I always liked the name…I had to let it SINK in. Taylor did not approve at first but he came around and Layla….oh man, to hear her say “baby Stefen” was heart melting. The kids have been so excited for their new baby brother. Layla for months has been singing to my belly and telling Stefen “your so cute baby Stefen”.

In the last months Stefen had the hiccups all the time and literally I felt like I had swallowed a bowling ball. My tummy wasn’t that big (until the end it looked like I swallowed a beach ball) but I did FEEL HEAVY. Turns out he was my biggest baby, no wonder he felt heavy sitting in there.

A few weeks before delivery I was told that I was GbS positive, but just slightly. So little was present that the lab didn’t even send over the count like they normally do. I wasn’t worried about it. Alisa said it was so minimal and I would just treat it by doing a special wash the day I thought I was in labor to kill any present bacteria. She also told me that they follow the European protocols and that would mean they don’t give antibiotics during labor for this, that I was FINE with. It makes sense to me to not give antibiotics. Also she told me that recent studies were showing that water births were better for babies of moms that tested positive for GBS. I told her that was not my plan all along but that I could maybe consider it depending on how I felt in the moment. She asked what my hesitancy was and I told her honestly it just seemed a little gross to me. But I told her that in all my studies and all the pics and videos I had seen nothing looked “Messy” she said it really isn’t messy, they are so good about keeping it clean and until the placenta there usually isn’t blood and even so it’s not gross. She determined I just had an “EW FACTOR”, so true. I will tell you IN THE MOMENT of it all though, just like anything else you deal with as a mother, there is no such thing as an ew factor when it comes to your body, your baby and that moment.

Taylor and Layla were 7-9 days early so as I approached the last two weeks of pregnancy I started to get anxious about WHICH day would he come. On Sept 13^th at my midwife appointment I asked Alisa if they would check me and she said she could if I wanted but what would that do for me? I concluded that it would do nothing for me because if she told me I was at a 1, it may help me be patient but if she told me I was at a 3 that would mean nothing to me cuz I could be there for weeks, so we decided that at my next appointment on 9/20 if I hadn’t had Stefen we would check. (I had him on 9/19).

On 9/18 I was feeling good and wanted to hit the gym. So I texted my girls and met a couple there. We walked on the treadmill for a good 45+ minutes. It felt great. That day I went home and Layla and I spent a good amount of time in the kitchen. She helped me prep two freezer meals and make a homemade chicken potpie for dinner that night. I felt Braxton Hicks throughout the day and had been feeling them off and on for a week or so. About 8 pm I went to my moms house for a few things and said to her “I probably shouldn’t tell you this because your going to drive me nuts but I’ve been having contractions off and on all day, but I’m sure when I get home tonight and finally REST they will go away.” Well about 1 am I decided to start timing my contractions because they were NOT going away. I had my new phone with a cool contraction app so I would just click when it started and stopped and the intensity of them. From 1-6 am I did this, Sleeping in between contractions. I never understood in books that I had read how women said they would sleep in between contractions, yet there I was, sleeping in between them.  About 6 am or so I woke up James to let him know how my night had gone and shortly after we texted Monica Campbell, my dear friend and Doula, Alisa my midwife and Beth Glider, my sweet friend that was on “taylor/layla duty”. By about 8 am Monica and Beth were at the house and my mom as well. We all just hung around the house as I was contracting. I felt a lot of pressure leading up to this day to know when I would ACTUALLY be in labor. The last thing I wanted was to alert the troops and then have it be false.  James says I was in denial because even around 7 am I was still debating IF this would be the day or not. Contractions from 1-6 am had been anywhere from 6-11 min. apart. From about 8-10 am I labored at home, had some peanut butter on toast (Alisa’s advice) and these contractions were anywhere from 2-10 min. apart and lasting 30-50 seconds.  If I was on the phone with anyone at this time and had a contractions I would just go silent and someone would take the phone and say “she’s having a contraction, one minute” J We decided after a bit that they were getting intense enough that I should make my way to the birth center so the drive wouldn’t be too annoying laboring. James dropped Layla off at preschool and Taylor stayed with Beth. I rode in Monica’s car because having contractions in James tall truck was NOT what I wanted to do. J We arrived at the birth center about 10:30 and hung out in a room, I labored on the birthing ball for a bit then we moved down to the birth room.  Alisa wanted to monitor the baby so as I was on the birthing ball she sat in front of me and was listening for baby’s heart rate. She wanted to stay there through a contraction to monitor it in a contraction as well, but we sat and sat and no contraction came. Literally she stood up and walked away from me and I had a contraction.  She then said she was going to check me and did I want people to stay in the room, I had everyone but James leave.  In this room as she checked she determined I was at a solid 4.5 maybe a 5. She also told me that it didn’t surprise her that I didn’t have a contraction as she was on my belly waiting and that they had seemed to slow a tiny bit in this room. She said “mamas don’t like to be watched” and she said to feel free to tell people to leave my side until I want them there. It was interesting when she left the room and it was just James and I, I had about 4 contractions in the time that I had had 1 with everyone in the room.  We headed down to the birth room and then we alerted the Photographer Jana Perenchio that she should head our way.  

I labored around the room as I got things organized and ready to get into the tub. I looked for my positive affirmations but realized they were left on the counter at home, no biggie, I knew what they said.

 I used the bottom of the bed to lean against and the birth ball. I recall using the restroom a couple of times, as I know an empty bladder is best, and would end up using the bathroom sink to brace thru contractions a number of times.  After a while I decided I would like to get into the tub. My midwife came to fill it up for me and to my surprise I was able to have it MUCH hotter than I thought I could. This felt so nice. Monica put on calming music for me in the background and we had the shades drawn in the room. I used my oil Stress Away and Deep Relief but now I don’t remember if this was before delivery or after, maybe both.  As I got in the tub it was so relaxing, to be lying down, stretched out was so relaxing. The contractions were still hard but the IN BETWEEN is where the tub was so much better because I could really let go of all my muscles and sink into the hot water. I don’t know how long I was in the tub but I think it was a total of about 2.5 hours. We refilled with hot water a couple of times. One thing that was so surprising was that throughout this whole time no one from the birth center was in the room. They were in a few times to check temps or set a few things up but really they just let me labor with my family and doula. It was so peaceful. Everyone kept commenting that I was still smiling and could even joke a bit and that was surprising to them.  I do remember asking James to move things off the tub ledge because I didn’t want a bunch of junk (chapstick, hair ties, water ect.) to be in the pictures Jana was taking. A silly thing to think about at that time, but I was. 

In the tub I tried a few positions. I sat Indian style and had James push on my low back.  (He was pushing on my low back the entire time, this guy WORKED) (in the aftermath my midwife even mentioned how she loves to see Dads work, she said “Not that I like to see them in pain but it’s nice when they put forth such effort” and James DID.  I got on my knees and braced my forearms on the edges of tub inside while he pushed on my back but most of the time I was on my back, slightly floating, holding on the the tub handles or Monica and my moms hands.

Alisa came in and asked if I wanted to be checked and at this time, I really did want to know where I had progressed to.  She determined I was a solid 9 and could break my water if I wanted her to because in contractions she could tell it was just RIGHT there and almost ready to give. I told her that she could (I’ve had my water broken w/ my previous two kiddos too).  As soon as my water was broken the intense contraction became WAY more Intense. The sensation to push was there. Through this time that felt like a LONG TIME (turns out it was 17 minutes) I stayed in that floating back position. James was such a trooper because he put his arms up under my armpits to help support my body from sliding down; I would hold hands of my mom and Monica to get through. James is so tall that to be in this squat position, he was really working. Him and Monica were also on COLD washcloth duty. We had a bucket of ice water and clothes and they switched those out CONSTANTLY.  I wanted my water hot because it felt nice on my lower muscles but I was SO HOT.  I had my mom give me a smell of alcohol swabs a couple of times as I felt a stinch of nausea creeping in, but that was mostly when I was on my hands and knees and my face was too close to the hot water.  My hubby was great, keeping snacks of a lara bar and string cheese in me but mostly chocolate milk and a little Gatorade and a lot of water.  At the end of course Alisa was there by my side and she was SO GREAT to speak me through this by saying in contractions as I’m baring down “now breath love and oxygen to your baby” that really helped me visualize, stop the baring down long enough to get a few good breaths in. She kept my tone deep when needed and was just the pro I needed there. Monica was my calm whisper in my ear that I needed, the nurturing words that kept me focused and in tune. My mom and James were there for my every need and boy did I need them.  Another comment I got afterwards was that people were surprised I was able in the end to still voice my needs. They may have come in short one word phrases but it got my needs met. Like Water, Alcohol, James Back, Monica Leg, Mom hand, Washcloth.  In the end it always feels like you can’t go on like this for much longer. The pressure is SO intense. Thoughts of “could someone just finish this for me” start to arise. You want to be able to have a time frame to KNOW when the END will be but obviously there is just no way. I was able to reach down when told and feel the top of his head when we were about there. Then I guess moments later I was able to push out his head and Alisa told me to reach down to feel him there. It’s slightly unbelievable how you feel in that moment and although I knew I was SO CLOSE, the thought of more contractions and baring down to get the rest of him here was a little overwhelming. It took about 1.5 more real strong pushes to get his shoulders out and quickly Alisa advised me to reach down and grab my baby. It was a desire of mine to be able to reach down and “deliver” my baby if possible. I’m glad for my midwife knowing my birth plan and remembering in that moment to help me do that.  (I had written my birth plan a couple days prior to delivery and sent it out to everyone involved) (I even love how I heard my midwife tell the nurse Holly to step out of the room to read my birth plan while I was laboring so she would be on the same page, I thought that was so thoughtful). As I reached my hands under Stefens arms and pulled him up to my chest all the pain, pressure and hard work was done. I just sat there, relieved, taking in this moment of my baby being here. He cried for a brief moment until we dipped a towel into the warm water and put it on him and I, then he was calm and alert and looking around at all these wonderful people that would soon be a big part of his life.  Stefen was born with so much Vernix. My midwife said it was one of the most she’d seen and said how good it was for his skin as we rubbed it all over him.  Stefen and I sat there in the water like that for about 15-20 minutes, letting the rest of the blood in hit cord pulse into him. I learned that by allowing the cord to finish pulsating, your baby receives at least 30% more blood volume plus benefits I’m sure we are unaware of. When it was done, James cut the cord, and then when it was time to deliver the placenta we wiped Stefen dry and handed him off to dad who was able to hold him skin to skin to continue to keep him most warm. I found it more than sweet of dad to do that. My doula Monica later commented on how touched she was by James willingness to do that for his new baby boy despite the fact the room was full of a bunch of women. Alisa gave me a Chinese herb under my tongue that she said helps expel the placenta within 5 minutes; it tasted awful, she said it would J. It was about 45 minutes after delivery when the placenta came. It was right there for so long and Alisa would ask me to give her a push and I just didn’t have it in me, I tried but just had no UMPH behind my push. I was so tired that I remember saying “I don’t remember, does this part hurt” and she said “Not at all, no bones, just like a bag of jello” There was a lot of relief when the placenta came and although I had had hesitation on the whole water birth, or delivery of the placenta in the tub, it all went out the window, I was fine with it, and comfortable and didn’t want to move. Alisa proceeded to give us a pretty sweet Anatomy lesson on the placenta. This is something that I figure would make my 6’3” husband pass out talking about and looking at and he just walked around the room w/ Stefen listening and learning.  She showed us the “tree of life” that every placenta has, she showed us the side that attached to the Uterus and explained this is why you bleed after because this is how big the wound is. She showed us the sac that Stefen lived in and I SERIOUSLY have NO IDEA how 8.4 lbs fit in there. It was soft and did look like a jellyfish in water. The human body is a MIRACLE. God is good. I told my mom at this time to call Beth and get the kids, Taylor and Layla here ASAP.

The time came for me to get out of the tub, I got on my knees and my midwife and nurse used the shower hose to give me a “shower” and I was able to get out and to the bed and comfortable. The first few hours after labor getting up was hard but mostly because I was having a hard time breathing. Standing upright and breathing deep seemed impossible. I think I had all this hollow room and my organs were finding their place again and my lungs were needing to learn to function again J My nurses and Midwife were great. Monica, Mom and James attended to my needs of snacks/water/chapstick. Monica sat by my bed and we had a special chat there for a moment and that was the first time my emotions took over and I expressed how grateful I was to her. To everyone and how blessed I was to have had things go so wonderful and to have been able to have this experience. It was more than wonderful.

Taylor and Layla arrived and they were SO Excited to come in but needed to wait a few minutes as I got situated and back in bed.  Jana snapped some family pics and then headed out.  I sent my mom out for dinner after Alisa advised we all needed REAL Food now J. We all got grilled chicken sandwiches from Chic-Filet. About 7:30 we had grandma take the kids back home to get in bed, our sweet friend Mori met her there to help her with that.  James and I rested in the bed in our room with Stefen with all the lights off and light relaxing music playing. Dad was able to sleep, of course I couldn’t but it felt so nice to just be relaxing in that moment with my husband and new baby boy. Our nurses came only if we pushed the button and needed them and took vitals only a couple of times. We were unbothered. About 10:30 I said I thought we could go home. We finished up paperwork and loaded up our new angel and headed home. It’s a wonderful thing being a family of 5.

Today Stefen is 11 days old. I had geared myself up for the emotional ups and downs of hormone balancing and the hard, sleepless nights and so far it just hasn’t been like that. My recovery has been so wonderful. I was scared after having 2 episiotomies that I would be doomed to tear in labor and I was able to walk away with just one tiny tiny tear so small, it didn’t even require a stitch. Just one of the many blessings of things going the way I had planned. Stefens cord came off about day 6 and Stefen had his circumcision operation when he was 7days old. (We did NOT give you the Vitamin K shot at birth and as close to day 8 as possible is best for this operation due to the blood clotting best) Dad and I were in the room with you and this was more than traumatizing for me. I hated every minute of it. The Dr did a good job and you have been fine since, but the day of you were so upset and once in your car seat you slept ALL DAY for almost 8 hours. My poor baby boy.

The kids love you so much. Layla takes every opportunity she has to kiss your head and be silly with you. Taylor loves to hold you and keeps saying how cute you are. We are so thankful to have Stefen here with us and make our family complete.